An Update

So much has changed since my last post, it feels like I've settled into a completely different way of life. I moved from Grand Forks to my hometown of Thief River Falls and am currently living with my dad until I can find a place of my own. I transferred to the Northland in town and quit working overnights to work part time at Digikey after school. I feel slightly more structured because I can now sleep at night and have plenty to do during the day.

I no longer have my pet rats, they both died shortly after bringing them to my dads house. Marcie died of a stroke and Fiona developed a respiratory infection so she had to be put down. That was so hard on me because they were with me during my loneliest days in Grand Forks. I was in a fog for a week after Fiona died. I felt a little lost, like a part of me was gone.

My dad told me, the night we buried Fiona's body in the yard, that I could get a cat. A week and a half later, my boyfriend and I were at the Humane society in Grand Forks, picking out a kitten. They had quite a bit of cats, they reduced the adoption price to ten dollars for two weeks so they could get rid of strays. This is where I found RC, but we call him Racer.

We had to put a bell on him

He likes turkey above all other treats, and I can't have a glass of milk without him following me around. He prefers twisty ties and cardboard boxes to normal cat toys. He's cuddly in the early mornings and when I get home from work. The rest of the time he likes to pick fights with the dog and hide things underneath the covers of my dad's bed. He's clingy, I sometimes can't go to the bathroom without seeing his paws reaching for me under the door. He's vocal, he'll meow and whine at me until he gets what he wants, but he doesn't always get that. He likes walk all over the keyboard while I'm trying to do homework, and he chatters at the computer cursor on the screen, that's his battle cry.

I feel like I've found something in Racer that I didn't have with the rats. Racer can tell when I'm sad, he runs up to me and sits on me. When I have bad dreams, I wake up to him cuddled at my side, purring contently. I love the sound of purring, I feel like it's comforting. My dad loves Racer compared to the rats, even though Racer gets into more things. We have to close the bathroom doors otherwise he hops in the bathtub and starts drinking the leftover water in the drain. He even broke a standing lamp by jumping into it, but that was kind of funny. Right now, I can look over my right shoulder and see him sound asleep, an innocent version of an otherwise hyperactive kitten.

But it wasn't all good, the day after Thanksgiving, my Auntie Arlene passed away at the Manor in Middle River, Minnesota. It was tough seeing her fade like that, she was such a strong woman. She babysat my younger brother and I when I was nine. We would go to her house after school and mom would pick us up after she got done with work.  I showed her a picture of RC on Thanksgiving day, which was the last day she was able to talk. She said, "Awww for cute!". She loved cats, she had several in her lifetime. The funeral was beautiful, my cousin Amber gave a beautiful tribute to Arlene. After the service, my family gathered around Arlene's casket, holding each other and crying. I watched as Arlene's casket was lifted out the doors of the church and into a hearse, where she was brought to Fargo to be cremated. She's going to be buried alongside her husband and her son in spring. The weeks after that seemed strange, and it still seems strange when I think about it. It's almost surreal that she's not around anymore. I miss her so much.

I can feel myself growing up and moving forward here. I've met so many nice people at work and school, and I'm starting to get my confidence back. I think moving back home was probably one of the smartest decisions I've made, even though I do miss Grand Forks sometimes. I think what I'm trying to say is that I feel a sense of contentment in Thief River Falls, like I have a safety net around me at all times. I'm still trying to find a place of my own in TRF, and it's only a matter of time before I can find one, but until then I'm going to focus on my studies, my work life, and finding time to relax at home.